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Am I Codependent?

How many of these statements apply to you?


  1. I am in a significant relationship with someone who is addicted to a substance or a behaviour, or someone who is depressed.
  2. I feel responsible for almost everybody and everything, but I feel guilty much of the time.
  3. I can't say "no" without feeling guilty.
  4. I can accurately "read" other people by analyzing their facial expressions and tone of voice.
  5. I try very hard to please people, but I seldom feel that I measure up.
  6. I feel that I have to protect people, especially the addicted or depressed person in my life.
  7. I live in such a way that no one can ever say I'm selfish.
  8. I go from defending the irresponsible person to blowing up in anger at him or her.
  9. I often relive situations and conversations to see if I can think of some way
  10. I could have done or spoken better.
  11. I feel overly frightened of angry people.
  12. I am terribly offended by personal criticism.
  13. To avoid feeling guilt and shame, I seldom stand up to people who disagree with me.
  14. I tend to see people and situations as "all good" or "all bad."
  15. Though I try to please people, I often feel isolated and alone.
  16. I trust people too much or not at all.
  17. I often try to get people I love to change their attitudes and behaviour.
  18. I tend to believe the addicted or depressed person's promises, even if he or she has broken countless promises before.
  19. Sometimes I have a lot of energy to help people, but sometimes I feel drained, depressed and ambivalent.
  20. I often give advice, even when it isn't requested.
  21. I tend to confuse love with pity, and I tend to love those who need me to rescue them from their problems.
  22. I believe I can't be happy unless others, especially the needy people in my life, are happy.
  23. I am often a victim in strained and broken relationships.
  24. I am defensive when someone points out my faults.
  25. My thoughts are often consumed with the troubles and needs of the addicted or depressed person in my life.
  26. I feel wonderful when I can fix others' problems, but I feel terrible when I can't.

Even if as few as 2 or 3 apply to you, then you are likely confused about your identity; or your identity is fused with someone else's? 

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